Fancy Meeting You Here
by MrsUkyoHabiki
Summary: Ranma 1-2 Songfic


From: springgrl@aol.com (SPRINGGRL)  
  
Fancy Meeting You Here  
  
By MrsUkyoHabiki  
  
Ranma and Akane's wedding (the fifth attempt) was a great  
  
success. It was a success in that the couple in question actually  
  
got to say "I do", they actually were happy about it, and the  
  
property damage was kept to a minimum. No one seemed to mind that  
  
during the exchange of vows that the groom became a damp girl or that  
  
the tears of the father of the bride caused water damage to the  
  
floor.  
  
Against all odds, the best man at the ceremony was Ryoga Habiki.  
  
Yes he was still Ranma's rival and yes he still had a mild crush on  
  
Akane. However, the rivalry had cooled over time and his affection  
  
for Akane had become more platonic. The bridesmaids at the wedding  
  
included Akari, the real reason Ryoga had chilled out. He and Akari  
  
had become a major item. She never minded that he could turn into a  
  
pig and she gave him unconditional affection. In fact the night  
  
before the wedding,they had explicitly shared in a night of   
  
unconditional affection indeed.   
  
The other two bridesmaids were Ukyo and Konatsu. Technically,  
  
Konatsu is a man but he ended up looking just as nice in the light  
  
blue bridesmaid dress as either Ukyo or Akari. Ukyo, for once, was  
  
not trying to blow up the reception or kidnap Kasumi (thus the   
  
destruction of wedding attempt number 3). No, she had come to a weird  
  
acceptance of everything. If her relationship with Ranma was to be  
  
the defining relationship of her life, it should be of friendship and  
  
love rather than hatred and revenge. Although she still loved him  
  
in a sense, she was happy for Akane and Ranma.   
  
Still the fans of Nerima craziness were not to be cheated this  
  
day. The couple cut the cake and fed each other. Then the bride threw  
  
the bouquet. Kasumi caught it. It was just then that Happosai decided  
  
to make his entrance.  
  
"Sweeto!" The sight of so many fine young ladies in formalwear  
  
was too much for everyone's least favorite pervert. He leeched onto  
  
Ukyo and received a spatula to the head. He clutched the bosom of   
  
Akane and was rewarded by the mallet of doom. He contemplated briefly  
  
glomping Nabiki but then decided just as quickly that he liked his  
  
life and didn't want it to end. He then turned to Akari, which was  
  
his biggest mistake.  
  
As he nuzzled his head between her light blue clad breasts,  
  
Happosai was being marked for near death by both Ryoga and   
  
Akari's pig, Katsunishiki, who had been quietly eating cake nearby.  
  
"Aiiiiiiiiiiiiyyeeee" Akari screeched. Her 'bash and kill' reflex  
  
kicked in and she punched the pervert in the head. He reluctantly  
  
released her from his grasp only to be met by an irate Sumo pig. The  
  
old man was a pervert but he was also fast. He evaded the charging  
  
pig with his speed. He was then met by a very pissed off Ryoga  
  
holding a steel chair from the reception. Ryoga chased the old man,  
  
swinging the chair as he went. Happosai dodged and retaliated getting  
  
in several good hits on Ryoga. Ryoga was tough though and he kept  
  
chasing Happosai. Happosai, furious at being distracted from the fine  
  
ladies, decided to retaliate in full. He slammed Ryoga into a wall.  
  
Ryoga crashed through the wall with such force that he broke the  
  
water line there. It was not a hot water line.  
  
In front of all witnesses, the muscular martial artist was  
  
reduced to his porcine form. His small pig snout peeked out from  
  
under his tuxedo. For all but one person, this was no surprise.  
  
"P-Chan! Ryoga was P-Chan?!?" Akane screamed. "Ranma, you knew  
  
about this didn't you?" Her eyes promised pain for her new husband  
  
and for the pig on the floor. Fortunately for them, Happosai had the  
  
bad fortune of being in Akane's path.   
  
"Die Pervert!" she screamed unleashing a mallet tinged in red at  
  
the old man. Happosai went flying through the roof. Akane stomped off  
  
into the house.  
  
"It ain't like you think, Akane..." Ranma began as he followed  
  
her.  
  
Akari had been watching this spectacle from the side as she   
  
straightened out her dress. She had not been surprised by Ryoga's  
  
change of course but Akane's reaction had surprised her indeed. She  
  
picked up Ryoga from the floor.  
  
"We need to have a talk dear.", she said to the pig she was  
  
holding by its bandana. She also grabbed his tuxedo and she walked  
  
into the Tendo house.  
  
Loud screaming echoed through the house. Nonetheless, Akari found  
  
a room where the sound was muted. She fetched some hot water and  
  
reverted Ryoga to his human form. Her back was turned to him as he  
  
changed back into his tuxedo.  
  
"So you were her pet?" Akari asked, trying to remain calm. Her  
  
intuition was screaming at her telling her something was very wrong  
  
with this scenario.  
  
"Yes. I can explain. Well. Kind of." he trailed off. Viewed from  
  
his current perspective, the way he had treated Akane seemed very  
  
dishonorable. He sighed and sat down in a nearby chair.  
  
"Why did you pretend to be her pet? Why doesn't she know you turn  
  
into a pig?" Akari was starting to show her agitation. She knew she  
  
wasn't going to like his answers.  
  
"I used to have a crush on Akane. I...I used to be 'P-Chan' for  
  
her so I could be near her and hear her thoughts. I don't know why  
  
she never figured it out herself. Ranma never told her because I made  
  
him promise not to."  
  
"Is that all? Why was she so mad then?" Akari responded trying to  
  
stay reasonable.  
  
"Well.."  
  
"Well?"  
  
Ryoga sighed. The truth was out there now and he knew Akari  
  
should hear the story from him.  
  
"She used to take me into her bed as P-Chan at night. She's mad  
  
because...because I saw her..I saw her in her underwear." (And less  
  
but Akari didn't need to know that, did she?)  
  
"Let me get this straight. You used being a pig to peep on a girl  
  
you cared about?" Akari replied. This was getting crazy. More crazy  
  
than sumo pigs and people changing forms in water? Maybe not, but  
  
this was still insane.  
  
Ryoga merely hung his head in shame. Akari, who had been standing  
  
in front of Ryoga, leaned down and raised his head so that he looked  
  
into her eyes. He could tell she was angry from her expression. But  
  
he also saw a weird sadness as he looked into her large brown eyes.  
  
"I love you Ryoga." She said simply. His heart filled with hope  
  
and fear and a cold dread.  
  
"I..I love you too." he replied.  
  
"But I need some time to think. This whole thing is crazy. Maybe  
  
it would be best if we didn't see each other a bit. Some time to sort  
  
this all out. I thought I knew you Ryoga and then I find out you  
  
could do something like this?" Tears had streaked their way down her  
  
face by now. She straightened up and looked away.  
  
Stunned, Ryoga replied, "Will I see you again? Is there any way  
  
we could...".   
  
"Maybe. Maybe. I need to think." At that she left the room and  
  
left the Tendo home. She barely paid any attention to the  
  
surroundings blurred by her tears.  
  
Ryoga wandered through the Tendo home hoping to catch Akari,   
  
maybe plead for her forgiveness. He predictably became lost and  
  
became depressed. He found himself in the Tendo kitchen. From  
  
upstairs he could still hear Akane. She was no longer yelling in  
  
anger but in a more passionate fashion. Apparently she and Ranma had  
  
smoothed things out. Ryoga heard this though and became more  
  
depressed. He had lost BOTH Akari and Akane forever. He would always  
  
be alone, he thought. He began to glow in blue. Shortly after, the  
  
Tendo home no longer had a kitchen.  
  
Meanwhile Akari had come to her own rather devastating  
  
conclusion. After she wiped away her tears and calmed down, she tried  
  
to find her way home. Then she tried to find her way back to the  
  
Tendo Dojo or to Ukyo's restaurant or to anywhere she knew. But no  
  
matter how she tried she could not seem to find her way anywhere. She  
  
would ask for directions and somehow mess them up. She would buy maps  
  
and someway misread them. Apparently love was not the only thing she  
  
had gained by knowing Ryoga. Now she seemed to have his sense of  
  
direction. Her only comfort was that Katsunishiki had followed her  
  
from the Tendo home so at least she wasn't alone.  
  
No one, no Habiki anyway, had ever known how the curse, the  
  
no-sense-of-direction curse, passed to someone who married into the  
  
family. They had all assumed that with the act of marriage, the curse  
  
was passed. Now it seemed to Akari that the physical intimacy she  
  
shared with Ryoga, or admitting that she loved him, or both had  
  
doomed her to the same fate.  
  
It was a year after the successful wedding of Ranma and Akane.  
  
Akari and her pig, Katsunishiki, were walking along. Gone were the  
  
feminine dresses she used to wear in favor of more durable khakis and  
  
a tee shirt. There was a small satchel on her back with patches from  
  
about anywhere in the world imaginable. Also strapped to Katsunishiki  
  
was a bag with even more international patches. After a year straight  
  
of not knowing where she was, Akari was about to end up somewhere  
  
familiar.  
  
Ryoga was lonely, lost, and depressed. Just the usual, really. He  
  
still thought of Akari often. Sometimes he would wander back to the  
  
Unryuu farm or back to the Tendo Dojo. But she was never there. He   
  
and Ranma still fought and after a few months went by he became   
  
friends with Akane once again. And he waited, hoping to see his  
  
beloved. As he wandered that day, a year since the marriage of Ranma  
  
and Akane, he found himself in front of the Tendo Dojo.  
  
Akari walked with her head down, intently studying the map she  
  
knew was pointless. Ryoga stared off into the distance as he walked.  
  
She looked up. He looked in front of him. Their eyes met.  
  
Start music. Fancy Meeting You Here  
  
Didn't you say you were off to China? Fancy meeting you here...  
  
(A flashback of Ryoga walking the Chinese Outback)  
  
  
  
Didn't you just board an ocean liner? Fancy meeting you here...  
  
(Akari was walking up the ramp of a boat unknowingly while   
  
studying a useless compass)  
  
  
  
Didn't we agree that our affair was too frantic?  
  
(A picture of the Tendo kitchen shortly after Ryoga's depression  
  
wiped it from existence)  
  
  
  
And we both feel good divided by the wide Atlantic.  
  
(Ryoga is looking around with the Statue of Liberty in the  
  
background. Akari is doing the same except the Eiffel tower is  
  
in the background)  
  
Weren't you yachting off the Rivera? Fancy meeting you here...  
  
(Ryoga stumbles onto a topless beach in France and promptly falls  
  
down with a nosebleed)  
  
Was it jolly roaming the Sahara? Fancy meeting you here...  
  
(Akari is riding Katsunishiki across the desert dressed in a long  
  
white robe.)  
  
If you don't think I have missed your loving, let's get this   
  
clear dear, I just think it's fancy meeting you right here.  
  
(In front of the Tendo Dojo, Ryoga reluctantly walks up to Akari  
  
and takes her hand)  
  
Did you say that you enjoyed Alaska?   
  
(Eskimos are chasing Ryoga through the snow as he is in pig form)  
  
Did I get a note from Madagascar?  
  
(Akari looks confused as she stands in a jungle surrounded by  
  
exotic birds.)  
  
Didn't we divide our little world in two sections?   
  
Love has sure affected both our senses of direction.  
  
(At the Tendo Dojo, Akari releases Ryoga's hand and he looks  
  
away.)  
  
How did you lose that big fat Persian? Fancy meeting you here...  
  
(Flashback of Akari rejecting the advances of an Arabian king)  
  
Did you take that African excursion? Or the local zoo here?  
  
(Flashback of Ryoga as a pig at Ucchans sitting next to   
  
Shampoo-cat and Mousse-duck)  
  
If you don't think it's a kick to see ya,   
  
let's get this clear dear..  
  
(Katsunishiki runs up to Ryoga and tackles him to the road)  
  
From the way my heart is wildly beating....  
  
(Ryoga stands up and looks into Akari's face.)  
  
What we had is more than worth repeating...  
  
(Akari drops her satchel and runs up to Ryoga)  
  
And it's more than fancy meeting you right here!  
  
(Akari jumps into Ryoga's arms clutching him tightly. He returns  
  
her affection with a gentle embrace.)  
  
End Music  
  
Hand in hand, they walk up to the doorway of the Tendo home. They  
  
knock on the door and a very pregnant Akane answers. As they walk  
  
inside, they both seem to realize that they will never truly be lost  
  
as long as they have each other.  
  
The End.  
  
==================================================  
  
Yes it's WAFFy fun for the whole family.  
  
This is the first fic in a possible series. All the stories will be  
  
separate but they will take place in the same "Ranmaverse". The   
  
stories will all be about different characters but all will have  
  
cameos by Ukyo and Konatsu. (Sort of the Jay and Silent Bob of my  
  
Ranmaverse.)  
  
'Fancy Meeting You Here' was recorded by Bing Crosby and Rosemary  
  
Clooney and can be found on an album of the same name.  
  
All C&C, flames, and wedding proposals can be sent to   
  
MrsUkyoHabiki@aol.com.  
  
Later :) 


End file.
